Speed Boat Ride (by KT)

I'm in a boat that Kate is driving at 94mph, in a medium sized body of water.  I can see land on all sides, so it's not that big.  I yell, "what type of body of water is this?"  Kate replies, "It's the ocean!!!"  I am unsure about this, so she tells me to put my hand in the water and taste it.  I do, it is salty, and I'm now convinced we're speedboating around a tiny ocean.

--I'm on a plane, and and surprised to see that there's a band setting up in the front. The band consists of an older guy with an acoustic guitar, and two young women playing harp and a strange oriental instrument. They start playing a riff I recognize, and it turns out to be the song "Hate Paste" by Archers of Loaf. I stand up to video the performance with my phone, and I keep panning to the view out the window (to show that we're actually in the air during the concert). After the plane lands, I talk to the band, but April exits the plane without me and I have to gather up a bunch of our bags and other random luggage. In the process, I end up with the wrong flight itinerary, and I can't remember where I'm actually supposed to be flying to.

--I'm helping my mom move, but the moving truck has collapsed under the weight of a giant snowball. It's pouring rain, and all her stuff is in the street getting wet, so we have to gather as much as we can and bring it in fast. In the process, some crazy big insects get into the house. One of them is a bulbous pink caterpillar with four or five round segments the size of tennis balls. It has huge green eyes on stalks, and a strangely human mouth. I stare at it for a long time trying to figure out what to do, because I'm somewhat terrified of it. I decide to pick it up with a towel and take it outside. But while I'm getting up the nerve to pick it up, it somehow takes the towel from me and puts it over its head like a bonnet, in an attempt to look "cute."

Two I remember

I was in college. One of my roommates, a skinny guy with shaved hair and thick eyebrows, was making porn while I was trying to sleep. I told them to stop. He threatened to kill me. I ran to campus police, but they couldn't do anything. Then he posted a bunch of embarrassing personal information about me on his porn site. I grabbed a wooden trunk with the rest of my personal information and ran away.

-------

I was in some sort of club, but instead of playing music or having live bands, they just played a bunch of mashed up video clips off old RCA Videodiscs. (I remember they played Prince's "1999," but not all the clips were music. Some of them were just movie trailers.) Some guy invited me upstairs, along with a couple of friends. It turns out he was interviewing us to potentially provide new videos for them. As a hiring bonus, he let us pick through a warehouse full of old videotapes and videodiscs. I asked a bunch of other pickers if they had seen a copy of Star 80. Shortly after I left, the place got busted by copyright police. I had no way to get home, so I just started wandering around alleys.

Bagels

I'm buying bagels at Wegmans. There's a new kind of bagel called the less-than-50-cents bagel, and it's hollow. It looks like a deflated tire or something. Caitlin is working there, and she recommends the cheesecake bagel, which apparently is vegan!

Arthur's Bar

Arthur owns a bar. Inside is a broken Coke machine -- the plastic on the side of the machine has a big ragged hole in it. Arthur can play the vending machine like an instrument by hitting various spots on the side near the hole. He begins to play "Gold" by Robert Pollard, and a crowd gathers to watch. I notice that suddenly the atmosphere in the bar has improved considerably, and business seems to have picked up. I think that Arthur has probably saved his bar.

Now, outside there's this big birdlike creature made out of popsicle sticks. It swoops down onto a white van and plasters the outside of the van with popsicle sticks, so that the van looks like it's made out of them.

(I uploaded the song Arthur played to YouTube, since it wasn't up there already. He mostly just played the opening riff in the dream.)

I went back to my hometown of North East, PA to recruit a new band for Awkwardcore. It was this guy Steve who was a year or two younger than me during middle school. For some reason, he's still in middle school. Steve's girlfriend is also in the band. I go to my old school to sit in on one of their classes, where they play a cassette of their songs. They sound like Beat Happening. But then they take me to a weird church service in an abandoned building by the railroad tracks, and I get kinda uneasy about them.

REPLICA OF DREAM OBJECT

The video box from this entry. Now just imagine this image as a really worn-out cardboard box that is useless and has to be kept in a bag, and you’ll pretty much see what I saw in my dream.

"woof!"

My memory of this dream is in tatters, but here goes:

I'm out in a snowy field at night, and I'm about to witness the phenomenon of ball lightning. There's a crowd of scientists observing. A hush falls over the crowd as a bright point of light rises from the ground, drifts up into the sky, and evaporates.

Now, I'm clinging to the outside of rocket that's being launched into space. It's inside a building, and I somehow have to scramble off of it before it exits the building. I do this multiple times, but somehow keep ending up on the rocket. I end up in space, and the rocket is going to re-enter the atmosphere, and I realize I'm going to burn up. But then something happens and I manage to land safely.

Now I'm in a garage, and outside is the same snowy landscape from earlier. I see a wolf out there, and make a note to myself to not open the door. So of course, since this is a dream, the wolf is now suddenly INSIDE the garage with me. I push a button that begins to raise the garage door, and I slip underneath it and close the door, trapping the wolf inside. But the wolf exits the garage anyway and starts running all around me. I have to try to intimidate it, so I start growling and yelling at it, all while avoiding eye contact. Also, I know I can't run or it will chase me (apparently I know how to survive a wolf attack in my dreams). I make my way slowly to a house (looks like Kristine's house) and enter safely.

THE END

Pool Clean-Up

I'm in an enormous pool with a bunch of other people, and we have to swim around and collect objects that are floating in it. Mostly, I just see forks and knives, suspended a foot or two below the surface. April swims by and gives me some tips -- she's collected significantly more silverware than I have.

Suddenly, some guy, and authority figure of some sort, walks over to the edge of the pool near where I am and yells at me about something (I can't remember what). I get out of the pool, and the guy walks away.

My friend Sarah (from grade school) comes by and is irate at the guy for yelling at me. To get him back, she dives into the pool (wearing a long dress that looks like it's made from a comforter), swims across it to where he is, climbs out, and gives him a big hug, soaking wet. Then she runs, and he begins to chase her. She runs to a door that looks like a fire exit, and pushes it open. It is suddenly revealed that the door leads to a live TV broadcast of a late night talk show. Sarah runs out onto the set, and the mean guy doesn't follow, because he doesn't want to be on TV.

Had a dream where it was 2012 and the world actually did end, but only for a split second. It was instantly replaced with another world. Anyone experiencing it would see an unnaturally bright flash outside, a terribly loud noise, and then before your brain could register it, it was over. There may have been some side effects, but I don't remember them. Douglas Adams would have been proud.

In a completely different dream, somewhere between our house and Sony's giant indoor theme park (non-existent), there was a hidden tunnel with shelves containing every toy Michael and I had ever owned as a child, but presented as new, complete in box. Plus a couple old packages of diapers, for some reason. The biggest thing was a giant fake tree which was used for photos with Santa. (Wouldn't that work more for the Easter Bunny?) Coming out at the Sony end, I felt like going on the King of the Hill ride. However, the vehicle for the ride was basically a giant stroller for two people (being manually pushed). I decided to let Mom and Michael take the vehicle, and I would walk behind. When I was told that part of the ride went over water, I became disappointed and wandered off. The last thing I remember was disrupting a giant 3-D screening of Snow White.

In a bit of fridge logic, I realized: if there was water, how could the tour guide walk?

Three scenes

1. For some reason, Michael and I were trapped in a mall. We hid inside a K-B Toy Store and slept. Then I was arrested. Not for trespassing, though. For some reason, I was impersonating the late Jane Russell, and this was a re-enactment of an incident that happened to her.

2. I was shopping at Frank Zappa's record store with some other people. However, he kept kicking me out. Apparently, as I was born in the 1980s, he considered me a hippie, and he hated hippies. This was particularly frustrating, as there was a Tubes record inside that I really wanted. The problem was eventually solved, possibly with hats.

3. The new Criterion titles were announced (that's happening today!). I hadn't heard of any of the movies, but they all sounded interesting. The only one I remember was a movie with a really long title, a trio of short stories about difficult cases for a group of film restorers. There was also a film or two from countries that no longer exist.

"dooF"

from my livejournal, dated may 22nd, 2002:


my dream last night: I was wandering through an incredibly large house. It had long hallways with windows all along the walls. I came to the end of the hallway, which was merely a small circular room that contained a rabbit. The rabbit shrieked "doof!" and began to sniff the walls frantically. It kept saying "doof" and I eventually caught on that since doof is food backwards, the rabbit was obviously searching for food. I followed it as it ran down a hallway in which it appeared an angry football coach and his team were also searching for this food. they were going into every room and trashing it. i was following the rabbit, and he lead me right to the correct room, which contained pizza, melon pieces, and a TV which was showing Man on the Moon. The end

Dream Pile-Up

I've got a little pile of dream notes to type up here, from two nights in a row of ripe dreaming.

Dream 1 - Stealing Olives on a Twig

KT and I are at a Wegmans in a mall and the building is very grand, of course, with tall, floor to ceiling glass windows that look out on the surrounding parking lots. We stop at an olive display, and he hands me a twig of olives, takes one for himself, and starts chomping away. I join in, because they look delicious. A worker in an apron approaches us and very curtly tells us we'll have to leave the store. I insist that we were intending on bringing the twigs to the check-outs and would gladly pay for the olives. She emphatically repeats herself and escorts us out. I'm mortified and KT is gleeful!

Dream 2 - Backseat Driver up Front

Shannon and I are in a car together, and I am driving. Though, this is a car where there are steering wheels, brakes and gas on both sides. She keeps trying to control the car by increasing the gas, and forcing the brake. This is frustrating the hell out of me, so I insist that we pull over and she drive. She is only happy to do so.

Dream 3 - Film Screening

KT and I are at a film screening of a documentary about a self-identified male transvestite (a really outdated term, by the way). He lives in Israel and is tried in a religious court for his supposed crimes against gender normativity. The title of the film is really stupid, I think it was, "A bad, bad man or a good, good transsexual?"

After the film, there is a discussion period and KT raises his hand. The moderator calls on him saying, "Yes, how does this relate to you, as a lesbian?" We get really pissed off, because the film was pretty awful, and everyone at the screening is very ignorant. I say something loudly about how people shouldn't assume how someone identifies. And then we storm out together.

Dream 4 - We can't be Friends

I am meeting up with an estranged friend at a coffee house. We had been sexually involved in the past, and then cut off ties altogether. I am currently with KT, and am only interested in a friendship or being polite acquaintances.

When he shows up, he gives me this whole spiel about how he is incapable of being friends with women. He says the only thing women are good for is sex, and he gives me an ultimatum. Either I kiss him, see if we still have chemistry, or get the hell out. I get the hell out, and don't even bother trying to argue with him about friendship across genders.

Dream 5 - Selling the House

KT and I are in our house, but of course, it looks vastly different in the dream.

The basement has high ceilings and a sewer-like feel. We are surveying what we have stored down here.

He tells me that he is selling the Ranch, and looking at other houses to buy. He had not told Lorien or Jim, and was just telling me, though he had already made contact with a realtor to get prospective buyers out to look at the place. I very huffily told him that this was why Shannon had left, because he was always changing things and making huge decisions without notice or consideration for the other housemates!

Dream 6 - Performance Artist for Hire

I am at a fancy soiree that some b-list actor is hosting, with the hopes of resurrecting his career (I wish I could remember who the actor was!). He has hired myself and some other women to do performance art at his party. I also don't remember what we did, just the feel the party--kinda warehouse, dirty, rave-type setting, black walls and minimal lighting. When it came time to pay the performers, he told us that the profits (somehow he was charging people admission) were only $50,000.00 so he'd only be able to give us $60.00 each. This was the rate he paid out to myself and two others, apparently because we were "unknowns."

Evil Bee (by Plasket)

Was at the doctor's office to get a check-up. When I was called in, I found that I was already there... From the future! And I had a bandage on my finger! The doctor was secretly going to give me a shot! I ran and hid in the hospital restaurant. Later, I was playing some kind of hide and seek game with some high school kids. I could play Paganini's first Caprice on piano and, somehow, 24-string guitar. Someone asked me the alternate title of a movie. I said it was Cocaine Something. Instantly, I was transported to some hospital for drug addicts. I found myself hanging out with heroin users and playing arcade games with them. Then I died. Luckily, this was all a vision I was having at the doctor's office. Apparently, an evil bee had stung me on my finger, and that made me want to hang out with heroin users. I was seeing the doctor to get the antidote.

I'm Morrissey, and I'm writing a rap song. I'm dictating it to a guy who's writing it down in cursive on a lined piece of notebook paper. Jay-Z is hanging around making suggestions, but his lines are way off the mark. I get stuck trying to work in the line "William, it was really nothing."

I was in Europe and I saw Yanni's house, which was a motel with a gift shop.

Later, someone asked me to help him play this Paul McCartney song that I wasn't familiar with. I was trying to follow along on guitar, but the song kept changing. The song was from a long lost solo album that he'd recorded while still in The Beatles.

Bad breath, vegan crumb cake

Snippets from last night's dream:
1. Kristine told me that I had bad breath, and I got REALLY mad at her for saying that.
2. Jen King made me a slice of vegan crumb cake

Pizza Task

I was attending what I assumed to be a college level studio course, though the surroundings indicated I might have been at a very nice high school. Nothing was ever accomplished in that class. Everyone just sat around and chatted, waiting for the professor to guide us, but the professor (a 30-40 year old man) just sat like a lump next to my peers staring off into the distance. A woman stopped by our classroom, and I was asked to leave the class to help with a small task. At first I was concerned I would miss something important, but then I remembered we never do anything, so I decided to go and help.

On the way out the door, one of my peers stopped me and showed me her "sculpture?" Her "sculpture" was several angled and toggled layers of cut styrofoam. Some of the layers had diagonal lines carved into the styrofoam, and there was a small red square cut into the middle. She was showing me that she had listened to suggestions I had given her, and I remember feeling weird that she was talking to me about it rather than the professor. I realized that I had become somewhat of a replacement teacher for our comatose professor. I reflected on that thought while the woman and I walked down a pillar-lined hallway and into a theater.

The theater was arranged in a strange way. The seats were facing forward in the same direction but the stage was small and towards the back and left of the seats. I didn't question the arrangement, rather I focused my task. The woman took me behind the last row of seats to a linen-dressed table lined with white and pink binders that alternated in color. The woman informed me that she needed me to lay the individual pages of the script on the floor, so people from the audience could come back and get them. I remember thinking that they should just take the binders rather than a single page from the script, but I did not voice my opinion, and began my task. The woman stripped the linen from the table, and arranged it neatly on the floor behind the table, so I could lay the pages out. The pages were in individual sleeve protectors, and the combination of slick plastic and fine linen made the pages slide slightly out of order.

The sloppy appearance of the script pages bothered me, so I decided to stay a little longer to arrange until everything met my standards. Meanwhile, the play was about to begin. A girl was sitting on stage in a rocking chair, and I could tell she was stalling a bit "probably a technical error or theater drama" I thought then the music began. She was singing but I realized that she was lip-syncing to a prerecorded tape of her voice. The quality of the singing was too perfect and everything sounded overproduced. "That makes sense" I thought to myself because that's the way it's done anymore. I realized that it would be hard to sing as loud as the actors would need to in order for everyone to hear them. At that point, I decided that the play had distracted me enough from my task, and I wanted to just finish up and head back to class.

I was probably too distracted by their misalignment to notice that my once script pages were now pizzas. I know the pizzas were homemade because of the variety of sizes and the imperfection of the circles. Some were covered in tinfoil and the others remained uncovered and exposed to the germs that might be on the floor. The pizzas were generally overloaded with toppings, and none of them look really appealing, but I returned to my task despite all of this. The pizzas were even harder to arrange because they were constantly sliding out of place and under the chairs in front of the linen. I discovered that creating two lines with pizzas snug against one another would hold them there, so I began to do this. I realized then that I had been grabbing pizzas haphazardly when they needed to be in a specific order, so people would know where their pizzas were. Since there was nothing I could do at that point, I continued on.

When I got to the middle of the line, several pizzas covered in foil kept slipping under the same chair. This chair was occupied by an older woman with chin-length gray hair and a square face. I sensed that I was probably bothering her, and my worry was confirmed when she suddenly spoke to me. "I'll take my pizza now please. It has brown on it." the woman said the way a privileged woman might ask a servant. "OK?" I responded in a slow and confused tone. Even though it was not my job to distribute them, I felt the need to try to help the woman out, so I asked "Could you be more specific?" Clearly annoyed and a bit anxious the woman gave a sudden but matter of fact response "I put an ibuprofen on it!"

It was at that moment that I noticed an Advil on the woman's shoulder, so I figured (given her age) she was simply confused, so I responded "Oh, ma'am, there's an Advil on your shoulder!" I figured she would understand that she was confused about leaving her pill on the pizza but she just gave me a look like I had just said something outrageously stupid. I plucked the pill from her shoulder to show her, but she was still insistent on finding her pizza. She began to leave the theater with her daughter to search for her pizza and asked that I follow. I was still convinced that she was simply very confused, and I began to question the existence of her pizza. I followed quickly behind and again tried to explain that the pill on her shoulder meant that there was no pill on the pizza, but the women kept walking as if they didn't hear me. We came to a hallway by a staircase, and the woman insisted I put down the pills, which had suddenly multiplied by three. I was worried about the kitties eating the pills, but I put them down anyway to appease the woman. It was then that the woman saw a small orphan boy at the top of the stairs. Seemingly forgetting about her pizza, she asked the boy if he knew where her specific brand of soap was. The boy began to respond but was quickly cut short by the woman. "You should use soap, you're filthy!" The boy was completely shocked but remained polite, "Well I would ma'am, if I could afford it," the boy responded abashedly. "It's not like I want to be dirty. I would buy soap, it's just so expensive!" The woman still focused on her search ignored the boy and continued on her way.

I continued to follow the obnoxious woman and her daughter to grand steps outside the theater. They were large stone steps one might see outside a monumental but we were still in a much larger building. The steps were filled with the actors and the other members of the audience all waiting for the woman and her daughter. Apparently the woman did not make a good impression on anyone, and I was surprised to see the angry faces of the crowd with pizzas loaded in hands and ready to fire. Before I could say anything, the pizzas were launched, and the woman and her daughter were drenched in tomato sauce. Everyone apologized to me for getting the stairs messy, but I was just happy justice was served!

Different type of college dream

Mom was taking forever to take me home from college. I was waiting and wandering around some awesome old buildings. Suddenly, a friend from college and high school shows up and asks me to help him with his film project. (He was not a film major.) I didn't do much and didn't even go back into the building until filming was almost over. That's when I discovered that the star of the film was Jack Rebney, the Winnebago Man.

Then it was night. The HUB looked like it should have been in Las Vegas.

Also, I lived with six roommates. One of them was Prince, who was good at poker.

Multi-Part Dream

I'm in a neighborhood with big fancy houses. I go up to the front door of a house, punch in some numbers on the keypad, and enter. It is not my house, but I think the residents are away on vacation. Walking quickly through the house, I immediately  head for the toilet -- I have to pee! Then I hear someone talking on the phone in a nearby room. It's the guy who lives here! I start to worry that when he sees me, he's going to be scared or angry. I contemplate sneaking out, but the thing is, I really have to pee. So I quietly use the toilet (note: luckily, I didn't actually go in real life) and then walk out into the hall. "Hello?" I say, non-threateningly. The guy comes out, and I explain the situation. Fortunately, he doesn't mind.

Next, I'm in Korea with April and KT. We're at an outdoor restaurant. KT is trying to introduce us to his friend, a young Korean woman, but she is off SCREAMING at a group people a few tables away. Finally she comes over to us and says "nice to meet you," and she seems really shy and distracted. She leaves, and then KT is like "That was weird."

April and I get on this rickety subway train and it starts zooming along. Most of the time it's above ground, and it's a bright sunny day. The landscape is mountainous, with lots of gray rocks. The whole time I'm staring at the rails in front of us, because I'm worried that the train is going to derail. There's graffiti on the sides of rocks -- it's the artist's credit card number.

Next, I'm watching a documentary about this weird sport; I don't remember many details, but it's sort of like basketball, except instead of throwing a ball through a hoop, you try to throw a heavy sack with a rope handle over a tree branch so that it somehow gets attached to the tree and the sack hangs down like a piece of fruit (it makes little to no sense, don't worry). Turns out the guy from the band Korn is a big fan. He's in the doc, then suddenly I'm standing in his back yard talking to him. His yard has a couple huge fruit trees, and I get distracted. One tree is covered with large yellow citrus fruits, the other tree has a couple red papayas. Another tree has a little treehouse in it, but there's a crazy dragon inside.