I was in Europe and I saw Yanni's house, which was a motel with a gift shop.

Later, someone asked me to help him play this Paul McCartney song that I wasn't familiar with. I was trying to follow along on guitar, but the song kept changing. The song was from a long lost solo album that he'd recorded while still in The Beatles.

Bad breath, vegan crumb cake

Snippets from last night's dream:
1. Kristine told me that I had bad breath, and I got REALLY mad at her for saying that.
2. Jen King made me a slice of vegan crumb cake

Pizza Task

I was attending what I assumed to be a college level studio course, though the surroundings indicated I might have been at a very nice high school. Nothing was ever accomplished in that class. Everyone just sat around and chatted, waiting for the professor to guide us, but the professor (a 30-40 year old man) just sat like a lump next to my peers staring off into the distance. A woman stopped by our classroom, and I was asked to leave the class to help with a small task. At first I was concerned I would miss something important, but then I remembered we never do anything, so I decided to go and help.

On the way out the door, one of my peers stopped me and showed me her "sculpture?" Her "sculpture" was several angled and toggled layers of cut styrofoam. Some of the layers had diagonal lines carved into the styrofoam, and there was a small red square cut into the middle. She was showing me that she had listened to suggestions I had given her, and I remember feeling weird that she was talking to me about it rather than the professor. I realized that I had become somewhat of a replacement teacher for our comatose professor. I reflected on that thought while the woman and I walked down a pillar-lined hallway and into a theater.

The theater was arranged in a strange way. The seats were facing forward in the same direction but the stage was small and towards the back and left of the seats. I didn't question the arrangement, rather I focused my task. The woman took me behind the last row of seats to a linen-dressed table lined with white and pink binders that alternated in color. The woman informed me that she needed me to lay the individual pages of the script on the floor, so people from the audience could come back and get them. I remember thinking that they should just take the binders rather than a single page from the script, but I did not voice my opinion, and began my task. The woman stripped the linen from the table, and arranged it neatly on the floor behind the table, so I could lay the pages out. The pages were in individual sleeve protectors, and the combination of slick plastic and fine linen made the pages slide slightly out of order.

The sloppy appearance of the script pages bothered me, so I decided to stay a little longer to arrange until everything met my standards. Meanwhile, the play was about to begin. A girl was sitting on stage in a rocking chair, and I could tell she was stalling a bit "probably a technical error or theater drama" I thought then the music began. She was singing but I realized that she was lip-syncing to a prerecorded tape of her voice. The quality of the singing was too perfect and everything sounded overproduced. "That makes sense" I thought to myself because that's the way it's done anymore. I realized that it would be hard to sing as loud as the actors would need to in order for everyone to hear them. At that point, I decided that the play had distracted me enough from my task, and I wanted to just finish up and head back to class.

I was probably too distracted by their misalignment to notice that my once script pages were now pizzas. I know the pizzas were homemade because of the variety of sizes and the imperfection of the circles. Some were covered in tinfoil and the others remained uncovered and exposed to the germs that might be on the floor. The pizzas were generally overloaded with toppings, and none of them look really appealing, but I returned to my task despite all of this. The pizzas were even harder to arrange because they were constantly sliding out of place and under the chairs in front of the linen. I discovered that creating two lines with pizzas snug against one another would hold them there, so I began to do this. I realized then that I had been grabbing pizzas haphazardly when they needed to be in a specific order, so people would know where their pizzas were. Since there was nothing I could do at that point, I continued on.

When I got to the middle of the line, several pizzas covered in foil kept slipping under the same chair. This chair was occupied by an older woman with chin-length gray hair and a square face. I sensed that I was probably bothering her, and my worry was confirmed when she suddenly spoke to me. "I'll take my pizza now please. It has brown on it." the woman said the way a privileged woman might ask a servant. "OK?" I responded in a slow and confused tone. Even though it was not my job to distribute them, I felt the need to try to help the woman out, so I asked "Could you be more specific?" Clearly annoyed and a bit anxious the woman gave a sudden but matter of fact response "I put an ibuprofen on it!"

It was at that moment that I noticed an Advil on the woman's shoulder, so I figured (given her age) she was simply confused, so I responded "Oh, ma'am, there's an Advil on your shoulder!" I figured she would understand that she was confused about leaving her pill on the pizza but she just gave me a look like I had just said something outrageously stupid. I plucked the pill from her shoulder to show her, but she was still insistent on finding her pizza. She began to leave the theater with her daughter to search for her pizza and asked that I follow. I was still convinced that she was simply very confused, and I began to question the existence of her pizza. I followed quickly behind and again tried to explain that the pill on her shoulder meant that there was no pill on the pizza, but the women kept walking as if they didn't hear me. We came to a hallway by a staircase, and the woman insisted I put down the pills, which had suddenly multiplied by three. I was worried about the kitties eating the pills, but I put them down anyway to appease the woman. It was then that the woman saw a small orphan boy at the top of the stairs. Seemingly forgetting about her pizza, she asked the boy if he knew where her specific brand of soap was. The boy began to respond but was quickly cut short by the woman. "You should use soap, you're filthy!" The boy was completely shocked but remained polite, "Well I would ma'am, if I could afford it," the boy responded abashedly. "It's not like I want to be dirty. I would buy soap, it's just so expensive!" The woman still focused on her search ignored the boy and continued on her way.

I continued to follow the obnoxious woman and her daughter to grand steps outside the theater. They were large stone steps one might see outside a monumental but we were still in a much larger building. The steps were filled with the actors and the other members of the audience all waiting for the woman and her daughter. Apparently the woman did not make a good impression on anyone, and I was surprised to see the angry faces of the crowd with pizzas loaded in hands and ready to fire. Before I could say anything, the pizzas were launched, and the woman and her daughter were drenched in tomato sauce. Everyone apologized to me for getting the stairs messy, but I was just happy justice was served!

Different type of college dream

Mom was taking forever to take me home from college. I was waiting and wandering around some awesome old buildings. Suddenly, a friend from college and high school shows up and asks me to help him with his film project. (He was not a film major.) I didn't do much and didn't even go back into the building until filming was almost over. That's when I discovered that the star of the film was Jack Rebney, the Winnebago Man.

Then it was night. The HUB looked like it should have been in Las Vegas.

Also, I lived with six roommates. One of them was Prince, who was good at poker.

Multi-Part Dream

I'm in a neighborhood with big fancy houses. I go up to the front door of a house, punch in some numbers on the keypad, and enter. It is not my house, but I think the residents are away on vacation. Walking quickly through the house, I immediately  head for the toilet -- I have to pee! Then I hear someone talking on the phone in a nearby room. It's the guy who lives here! I start to worry that when he sees me, he's going to be scared or angry. I contemplate sneaking out, but the thing is, I really have to pee. So I quietly use the toilet (note: luckily, I didn't actually go in real life) and then walk out into the hall. "Hello?" I say, non-threateningly. The guy comes out, and I explain the situation. Fortunately, he doesn't mind.

Next, I'm in Korea with April and KT. We're at an outdoor restaurant. KT is trying to introduce us to his friend, a young Korean woman, but she is off SCREAMING at a group people a few tables away. Finally she comes over to us and says "nice to meet you," and she seems really shy and distracted. She leaves, and then KT is like "That was weird."

April and I get on this rickety subway train and it starts zooming along. Most of the time it's above ground, and it's a bright sunny day. The landscape is mountainous, with lots of gray rocks. The whole time I'm staring at the rails in front of us, because I'm worried that the train is going to derail. There's graffiti on the sides of rocks -- it's the artist's credit card number.

Next, I'm watching a documentary about this weird sport; I don't remember many details, but it's sort of like basketball, except instead of throwing a ball through a hoop, you try to throw a heavy sack with a rope handle over a tree branch so that it somehow gets attached to the tree and the sack hangs down like a piece of fruit (it makes little to no sense, don't worry). Turns out the guy from the band Korn is a big fan. He's in the doc, then suddenly I'm standing in his back yard talking to him. His yard has a couple huge fruit trees, and I get distracted. One tree is covered with large yellow citrus fruits, the other tree has a couple red papayas. Another tree has a little treehouse in it, but there's a crazy dragon inside.

Touring with the Violent Femmes

In my dream, I had a memory from years ago of driving from Erie to Cleveland in the van with the Violent Femmes. Now the band had released a sped-up video of the exact route they took (so you can witness the drive in a matter of minutes rather than hours) and to celebrate they were playing a show in Cleveland, which I was attending. I was waiting outside the venue and a woman began to talk to me. I recognized her, but didn't realize until later that it was Georgia Hubley, the drummer from Yo La Tengo.

I never made it to the concert, and ended up in a Sears-like department store instead. April was there, and we were looking at shirts. I had an idea of buying a lot of t-shirts and opening my own shirt store, but I was soon discouraged because very few of the shirts appealed to me.

Then I was biking around "Cleveland" (although it looked a lot like Jamestown, NY) and I kept accidentally running red lights.

DAMMIT NOT AGAIN

High school time again!

In the first part, I was cramming all night for an English class I never went to. I might also have been doing an art project for that class. Then I thought: "wait a minute, didn't I already graduate?" I stopped immediately.

For some stupid reason, I still went to school. I had to present a film project. Of course, I didn't have it. While everybody else presented theirs, I went to the office and made sure that I graduated. Apparently, the woman working there was an environmentalist who got arrested. Somehow, I spontaneously made a film about her.

So I presented my film. I could clearly see the teacher write an F on my grade. When it was over, he said "You get an A... as in 'A bad movie.' F."

Back to the office. Talking to the same woman. She ascertained that I graduated, then promised to erase the bad grades that were coming. Then she made me pay her $150.

Mom drove me home and there were six police cars following us.

The Banana Guy

I'm watching scenes from a movie about a guy who's known for getting the best bananas. I guess he's a banana importer or something? The movie has a scene where he's at a high class fashion show, and there are huge banana displays on either side of the catwalk. Some other guy is trying to sabotage him by bringing in lower-quality bananas, but the plan doesn't work because the banana guy notices right away and starts to describe all the ways he could tell that the bananas were not his (for instance, number of brown spots). Also, the impostor bananas have drugs in them.

In another part of the dream, I'm visiting London for the first time, and I'm trying to order a seitan sandwich with peppers, but it arrives without peppers. They tell me they ran out, so they gave me a sandwich with fishwater instead, which is apparently water from the river Thames, and is considered a delicacy.

I'm pretty sure this is not in our family history at all

After looking at an incredibly large family group picture, I start wondering about my family's history. In a flashback, I become one of my ancestors, a teenager during World War I who is constantly at odds with his grandfather. He doesn't want to join the war. His grandfather is constantly pointing a shotgun at him and making him go through various obstacles. When he tries to defend himself with one of two rifles he's carrying, he can't seem to work either. Also, everything's all grainy like an old movie.

(At this point, I will refer to my ancestor in first person.)

At one point, this conversation happens.

Me: We should remake this in a few years, where I'm playing a shooting gallery game, and it takes place during the war with Iraq. The first one, though, the one in...
Grandfather: Kuwait?
Me: Yeah, Kuwait.
Grandfather: Wait a minute. How do you know there's going to be shooting gallery games?

I realize I've made a mistake and start panicking. I grab the camera that's been filming this scene and cut out the section of film that contains the previous exchange. Then I summon some character named "Skokie" and tell him to "lose this scene." He disappears with the footage, which becomes the mythical "lost scene" from the movie.