The man approached our table at the restaurant and did a little introductory jig -- "ta da!" He introduced himself as a man with an affliction known as Small File, or Brain Cabinet. In other words, his eyes were connected directly to his brain. This condition, he explained, was discovered when some scientists examined the brain of a pirate with "extremely leftist tendencies." Apparently, having this condition makes your eyes slightly evil. In fact, this man's left eye had murdered his right eye.
I'm pretty sure he was asking for money.
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